Drunk Buddies
by Amaries2000
Summary: Because Hook and Rumple getting drunk together seemed funny to me XD Rated T for the drinking.


I was sitting at the bar, just finishing my third ale when the Crocodile entered the bar. He planted his cane firmly on the cracked hardwood floor, his hands resting one on top of the other, and surveyed the room. When he saw me his eyes narrowed slightly and I rolled my own and turned my attention back to the bar to order another beer. While the bartender worked the tap, I fiddled with the engagement ring I had bought for Emma. My fingers felt large and clumsy handling such a delicate thing and I nearly dropped it when a patron pulled out the stool beside me. I clutched the ring tightly in my fist and glared at the Crocodile as he took a seat.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" I said, unamused.

"Having a drink, what does it look like?" The Crocodile said, propping his cane up against the bar.

"You had to sit there?" I asked, thanking the bartender when he placed a new drink down for me.

The Crocodile shrugged. "I just chose an empty stool, that's all."

I looked down the bar at all of the empty seats. Only one other man was at the bar and he was seated on the far end nearest to the door. He waved when he saw me looking at him.

"Right. Whatever." I mumbled, tipping back my glass, determined to finish fast and get the hell out of there.

"What have you got there?" The Crocodile asked, pointing to where the engagement ring still remained pressed into my fist.

"Nothing," I said.

"It didn't look like 'nothing'," he said. "I'll have whatever he's drinking," he said to the bartender.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Alright, what do you want?" He had to want something, there could be no other explanation for his behavior.

The Crocodile's brow furrowed and he shook his head. "I don't want anything. Except to have a drink," he added when his beer had arrived.

He held the glass out to me and waited. I took three more sips of my own drink and still he waited. When I reached the level of annoyance that I thought I might explode I clinked my glass to his. He smiled, nodded his satisfaction and took a long drink.

"Ah, that's good. Been a long time since I had a beer." He looked at me and in seeing that he had my attention, continued. "I usually drink whiskey or gin, but a cold beer is nice every so often."

It was a strange feeling for me to sit there with my enemy and feel not anger, not repugnance, just irritation. I had always considered Rumpelstiltskin a sinister and malicious character. This man seemed almost pleasant.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked him. Not out of concern, more for validation that I was not losing my mind and that he was indeed acting odd.

"I'm fine, dearie, why?"

I cringed at the address. "Don't call me that."

Rumpelstiltskin hung his head and apologized. "Are you going to propose?" He said.

I had made the mistake of putting the ring on the counter. It had been in my fist for so long that a white impression was stamped into my palm.

"That is none of your business."

"Congratulations," he said.

"She hasn't accepted yet. And I still have to get David's permission which is giving me all sorts of anxiety."

"Explains why you've been here most of the day," Rumpelstiltskin said. "That man can be intimidating, stubborn, but he likes you. As for Emma, even I can see how smitten that woman is with you. Has been for a long time. You've nothing to fear."

"Thanks," I said and I ordered another beer for myself and one for my company.

He thanked me and took a long swig.

"How are things with you and Belle?" This I was genuinely curios to know. Belle had become a good friend of mine over the years and I never had been thrilled about her relationship with Rumpelstiltskin. I was certain she could have done better. Of course I also knew Emma could do better.

"A struggle," Rumpelstiltskin said. "But then, that seems to be the way with us." He looked at me and then down into his beer. "I know you're thinking I don't deserve her, and you're right, but I love her and I know she loves me. We didn't choose this, it happened, so what can we do?"

I traced the grooves of my glass with my thumbs. "Interesting philosophy," I said.

"You have the same one, do you not?" He studied me, somehow reading the thoughts in my head as if I had spoken them out loud. "We aren't so different, you and I."

A flash of anger shot through me but I said nothing. I simply narrowed my eyes and waited for him to continue.

"We were both decent men once, we have good intentions that seem to always delve us into more trouble, and," he added with a grin, "we have the same taste in women."

I turned my head then, dormant images of Milah's death resurfacing. I ordered another beer.

"Did you really have to kill her?" I said, voice rising.

"Did you really have to steal her away knowing she had a husband? A son?"

The mention of his son calmed my rage.

"I never did thank you Hook. You once took great care of Baelfire. I understand he meant a lot to you?"

"Aye, he was a good friend. And please don't thank me. I don't deserve it."

"No matter, I appreciate it." Rumple ordered us another round of ale.

I had downed half the glass before my first drunken wave of the night. I gripped the edge of the bar to steady myself.

Rumple noticed and chuckled appreciatively. "I didn't realize you were such a light weight, Killian."

I held up my hand and hook in defense. "Hey, I have been drinking since three this afternoon and it's what, nine now? I'd say I handle my poison just fine."

"Well then, what do you say we switch over to something stronger? I guarantee I'll last longer than you will."

I smirked, rising to the challenge. "Aye, you're on mate!"

After whiskey shot number seven both Rumple and I were struggling not to fall out of our stools. We each held a firm grip on the counter and continued to chat in nearly unintelligible slurs.

"'Member tha' time I stabbed you in the chest with a hook and nothin' happened? I'm wearing it now!"

Rumple slapped the counter top and laughed heartily. "I've always wondered if tha' was the same'n! "Member the first time you called me a crocodile not knowin' I was't Dark One?"

I threw my head back and guffawed. "You threatened my 'tire crew!" It was incredible how being drunk could turn a horrible memory into something so funny. Funnier still was the fact I was enjoying my evening with Rumple to the extent of it being the best time I had had drinking in a very long time. And maybe it was just the alcohol cloud forcing me to be honest with myself but I really could see in that moment just how similar Rumple and I truly were. He was a man with a dark past trying to make amends. He was loved by a strong woman with a pure heart who believed in him. We were indeed, the same. It dawned on me that that may have been why our feud had lasted for so long; we each were a mirror image of the man we were and tried so hard not to be.

"You're a good man, Killian," my mirror image said, resting a hand on my shoulder.

"As are you, Rumple," I returned.

"I'm sorry I've treated you so poorly over the years."

"Me too," I agreed regrettably.

Rumple threw his arms around me and hugged me tight. I returned the gesture.

"Let's be friends, okay?"

"Of course! Mates for life! Cheers!" Both Rumple and I lifted empty shot glasses and clanged them together. I took a sip from my glass but there was nothing in it. Rumple had the same result and turned his glass upside-down, shaking it disappointedly.

"You know what we should do?" Rumple said, his eyes twinkling.

"'Nother drink!" I exclaimed, raising my hook triumphantly in the air and knocking over two empty shot glasses in the process. The bartender narrowed his eyes and shook his head.

"No, no, no. We should go'n propose to Emma!" He waved his cane in the air.

I raised an eyebrow. "We?"

"Well I mean you! I'll jus' come for moral support. Come in…on!"

I thought for a moment, unsure whether the time to propose was appropriate or if I even looked decent after hours spent in a bar. My reflection in the mirror behind the bar wasn't terrible. My hair was a bit disheveled and my eyes had difficulty focusing but other than that, I thought myself presentable. It would just depend on the time, I reasoned. I didn't want to wake her if it was too late.

"Wha' time is't?" I asked, eyeing Rumple's wristwatch.

"Quarter to one," he said.

"Ah, well, okay," I decided, stepping from my bar stool.

"Yes!" Rumple cheered, grabbing his cane and stumbling out of the bar behind me.

The two of us walked arm and arm down the street singing old sea shanties and laughing at one another's butchering of the words. I was relaxed, I was happy, and I was soon to be engaged to the love of my life. It was just outside Emma's house that I halted abruptly and Rumple crashed into my back. I stared up at the house, frozen.

"I can't do this. What if she rejects me?" Displaying a lack of confidence in front of Rumple and feeling comfortable with the fact was never something I imagined possible. I never allowed my enemies to see my weaknesses and that confirmed it; I really did value Rumple as a friend.

"Need I remind you that Belle married me? If a woman like that says yes to a beast, then Captain Hook will be just fine."

I considered his words, nodded, picked up a nearby pebble and threw it against Emma's bedroom window. Rumple dived behind a nearby shrub just as Emma's window lifted open and her beautiful, moonlit face appeared.

"What the hell are you doing, Killian?" She was cute when she was angry.

"Emma, I know this is't the best way to do this bu' I've been trying all day to figure out the right way to ask you something and I don' think there is a right way. You and I have always done thin's our own way anyway so−"

"Killian, are you drunk?" I could see her trying to suppress a smile but the familiar lines around her eyes appeared and there was a playful twinkle in them.

"Aye lass, a little bit," I said scratching my head with my hook and suddenly finding my boots very interesting.

Emma laughed. "Just checking, go on."

I meant to slowly lower myself but I ended up crashing to one knee.

"She didn't notice," Rumple whispered from the shrub, though I was sure she had.

"Hold on a second, I'm coming down," Emma said. She disappeared from the window and reappeared a few moments later at the front door. She stopped in front of me and smiled. "Continue."

"I'm sorry I'm sloshed, I'm just so nervous." I said stupidly.

Emma giggled. "It's okay, what do you want to ask me?"

I had rehearsed this scene a million times in my head and now that it was here I couldn't remember a word of it. To hell with it. I made up something new, speaking slow to articulate clearly.

"Emma, you have always believed in the goodness in me even when I can't see it myself. You make me want to be a good man, a better man, every day. Without your strength and encouragement, your love and your trust, I would bloody fall apart. A day spent without loving you and being loved by you is my greatest fear and I will do everything in my power to prevent it. I love you Emma. Will you marry me?"

Her eyes glistened with tears as she took my face in her hands and nodded. "Of course I'll marry you."

I slid the ring onto Emma's finger and suddenly a series of fireworks shot from the shrub and into the air.

"Holy shit!" Emma leapt back towards the house, terrified.

"It's okay darling, it's just Rumple!" I reached my arm into the shrub and pulled my friend into the open. He gave me a huge congratulatory hug and tried to give Emma the same treatment but she refused.

"Gold! Killian, what is going on?" She said, confused.

"We're friends now," Rumple said happily. "I suppose I should leave you two be. I imagine you have some celebrating to do." He nudged me in the ribs and smiled mischievously.

"Thanks, mate. See you soon?"

"Absolutely!" Rumple shot a few more heart-shaped fireworks into the air and departed.

"You and Gold are friends now. How the hell did that happen?" Emma's eyes were the size of saucers.

I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Understanding, my love. Turns out the Crocodile and I have more in common than I wanted to admit." I pressed my lips to Emma's and kissed her deeply before adding "and alcohol. I'm sure the alcohol played a hand in it as well."

 **The End.**

* * *

A vision of these two getting drunk together came to me and I thought it too funny not to write about. I hope you enjoyed it!


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